Fleeters Beware: How to Tell if your Sailor is a Real or a Fake

Ladies and Gentleman start your engines...

We are currently in the midst of

Fleet Week 2009

It is shaping up to look like a wet and wild (thunderstorms are a brewin') three-day weekend and the sailors are on the town and fleeting through all the hotspots, bars and streets that they can lay their hands on!

However, just because that lad or lassie is in a cute, little, white suit or military garb doesn't mean they're for real. It may not be widely known, but right before Fleet Week, costume stores tend to sell and rent out all their sailor gear. Let's just say that some people might be interested in getting in on the copious amount of presumed "tail" sailors can partake of this week.

But wait Fleeters!

Have no fear!

The Cheap Chic is here!

I've complied some PRACTICAL TIPS to finding out if your Sailor is the REAL DEAL (A little knowhow goes a long way...).

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TIP #1: Actually know what a sailor looks like. I know this sounds like "Duh!," but while some sailors look like they've stepped off the set of On the Town, some don't. You don't want to question a sailor's true authenticity without some backup knowhow.

• Uniforms of the U.S. Navy
  
• Uniforms of the U.S. Marine Corps

TIP #2: Order a round (and in case you're wonderin', you're buyin'. These individuals serve our country. They deserve a drink or more on you. It's your duty.) and cheers to the unofficial motto of the U.S. Navy, "Non sibi sed patriae" (Not self but country). If your sailor looks like a deer caught in the headlights, throw that fish back.

TIP #3: Say to your sailor that you heard another sailor singing a song about "Anchors or something..." If she starts singing or mentions the song "Anchors Aweigh," the unofficial service song of the Navy, she's a good fish.

TIP #4: If a sailor says he is an Admiral and looks under the age of old, dump him. That's a 4 Star rank and is attained through a life of service to our country.

TIP #5: Browse through this Glossary of U.S. Navy Slang. Yes, alot of the slang is derogatory, but this is no big surprise. However, it is useful to know. For instance, if another sailor says that the sailor you're hitting on is a "Hot Dog" (A sexually active male sailor), at least you know what you're getting into.

TIP #6: Not to state the obvious, but if you are going to partake in some tail, WRAP IT UP! Click here for a list where you can score some FREE NYC Condoms (and lube!).

Above all, HAVE FUN!

And DON'T FORGET...

Honor our Sailors

Buy them drinks and Thank them
for their service to our county!

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